


Cheesed to Meet You: A Walbo Story

by crabsmasher



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, Wallace & Gromit
Genre: Gromit is away, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Sassy Bilbo Baggins, Shameless Smut, The Author Regrets Nothing, Wallace is a top, Wallace loves cheese, but make it sexy, cheese as lube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:20:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28517778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crabsmasher/pseuds/crabsmasher
Summary: Wallace and Bilbo have an unexpected cheese journey.
Relationships: Wallace/Bilbo Baggins
Comments: 11
Kudos: 8





	Cheesed to Meet You: A Walbo Story

In 62 West Wallaby Street, Wigan, there lived a simple man and his simple(ish) dog. On this particular day, however, the only resident inside was the man. His name was Wallace.

Wallace was simply enjoying his late-morning tea and cheese when he heard a strange ruckus outside. This wasn’t a normal occurrence at this time, so the sound startled Wallace quite a bit. He rose gently from his sofa-chair and hastily made his way towards the door. As he gently undid the locks, he heard a voice outside.

“I swear on my mother, Gandalf, I smelled cheese, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get my hands on it,” said a voice.

“Bilbo, you lactose slut, we need to get going,” answered an older and deeper voice-Gandalf.

“I’ll catch up to you all. I simply must find the cheese,” the first voice- Bilbo- said.

Wallace heard a sigh, “very well, Hobbit, I wish you luck.”

Before Wallace had a chance to open his door and ask what the chaps were doing, he heard a fast knock. He froze. This must be that, “Bilbo,” fellow that he heard looking for cheese. Wallace had cheese in his home. Wallace smelled of cheese. He knew what was about to happen. He slowly and carefully opened the door just enough to peek through. What he saw was almost exactly what he had pictured he’d see. 

The man standing on his porch was a small lad, much shorter than the average man, or woman, Wallace had realized. He had curly brown hair that reached just below his ears and neck. His clothes had suggested he was not from around the city, and he smelled as if he had not taken a shower for a fortnight. Wallace’s eyes fell to the man’s feet and, well, let’s just say he was impressed. 

“Eh, sorry to bother you, but eh, you wouldn’t happen to have any cheese on yourself, would ya?” Bilbo asked sheepishly.

Wallace stared at him, dumbfounded. Bilbo is perfect. Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed a small bit of sharp cheddar and handed it to his new guest, “there’s plenty more where that came from as well…”

“I could kiss you!” Bilbo exclaimed as he let himself in and darted straight for the kitchen. Wallace only caught a glimpse of the other man’s backside as he ran as fast as his little legs would carry him.

Bilbo had a dumptruck. 

“Wait!” Wallace shouted before Bilbo could reach the kitchen, “I-uh, I’ll take you up on that kiss offer…”

Bilbo stopped in his tracks, mouth agape. There was a slight blush working its way up his cheeks, “Well then, what are you doing all the way over there?” He added seductively.

Wallace practically ran over to Bilbo, closing the distance between them. Their lips crashed together harshly, but they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. Wallace ran his fingers through Bilbo’s hair as they began to deepen the kiss. A loud moan escaped both of their mouths. Bilbo’s tongue traced Wallace’s bottom lip before the taller man finally gave in and parted his lips. 

Tasting this weird, short, dirty, smelly, cheese-loving complete stranger was the most euphoria Wallace had ever felt in his life. Adrenaline was rushing through his veins like a coursing river. This was ALMOST as good as eating cheese from the moon.

Bilbo’s hands were busy exploring Wallace’s body underneath his sweater-vest and corduroys. He lifted the greenish sweater-vest over the Brit’s head and started to undo his pants, leaving Wallace in nothing but his thong.

Bilbo’s clothes were a bit harder to take off, but Wallace was never one to shy away from a challenge.

“I want to see you,” Bilbo said, his eyes glistening with lust.

“Well then, here we are,” Wallace exclaimed whilst ripping his thong off like it was made of paper. 

Bilbo, once again, was left speechless and blushing at the sheer size of Wallace’s cock. It was throbbing and ready to go. The Hobbit didn’t even bother trying to suck him off. He needed the man inside of him immediately.

“Do you have any-”

“I have melted cheese on the counter to your left,” Wallace replied with a grin.

“Perfect,”

Grabbing a handful of hot, melted cheese, Bilbo applied some to his gaping hole and to the length of Wallace’s cock, stroking it as he did so. Wallace let out a beautiful sound to this.

The short man dropped on all fours and readied himself for the sensation. Little did he know, though, that it was going to be better than he imagined. 

“Ready?”

“Ready,”

The pace was slow at first, as Wallace didn’t want to hurt Bilbo with his magnum dong, but quickly escalated to a fast pounding. Both men were screaming. The sensation of the cheese was too much for them to handle. Wallace was getting so close to climax listening to Bilbo’s whimpers.

“It’s okay,” Bilbo strained, “you can let go.”

They both came at the exact same time, then promptly ate the cheese mixed with their cum.

~Fin~

  
  



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